You can do everything and don't have to do anything

But this is precisely where it is important to keep a cool head, because the activity itself does not change. It's just our attitude towards it that seems to turn 180°. This shift in perception has a significant impact on our actions and our well-being.

The example of the dishwasher is trivial, but the same train of thought is the norm in almost every situation in life. Be it at work, at home or in interpersonal relationships: When we feel like we have to do something, we often feel resistance. This resistance can lead to a great deal of psychological stress and even contribute to feelings of being overwhelmed or dissatisfied. Of course, there are some aspects of life that are done out of necessity rather than pure pleasure. These include duties and tasks that need to be completed in order to lead a well-ordered and successful life.

For my part, however, I believe that we can bring much more gratitude and joy into our lives with a very simple trick. All we need to do is swap the word "must" with "may" off. This sounds logical and like an easy trick to use, but the most important thing here is that we don't just tell ourselves this, we really believe it.

A simple example of this would be: I don't have to go to work, I can go to work. If I wasn't allowed to, I would have no money and therefore no roof over my head and no food in my stomach. So we are in a privileged position in which we have the opportunity to earn a living. We are tolerated at work, so to speak. This is, of course, a slight exaggeration, but it gets to the heart of the matter.

Another area where this change of perspective can help is learning or pursuing personal goals. Instead of thinking "I still have so much to learn", we could say to ourselves "I am allowed to learn and expand my knowledge". This attitude can increase our motivation and help us to tackle challenges with more enthusiasm.

The principle of the "Dürfens" instead of "Have to" can also be applied to social obligations. We often feel stressed or overwhelmed by social expectations and obligations. However, changing our mindset and recognizing that we have the opportunity to engage socially and cultivate relationships can enrich our social lives and give us a sense of fulfillment.

It is important to see this change in perspective not just as a technique, but as a deeper change in our inner attitude. By realizing that many of our daily tasks and obligations are actually opportunities and privileges, we can make our lives more positive and grateful.

Of course, there will always be tasks that are unpleasant or challenging. But even in these situations, the thought that we have the ability and opportunity to overcome these tasks can have a positive effect. It's about raising awareness of the positive aspects in our daily routines and focusing on what we gain from them, rather than just seeing the negative sides.

To summarize, the difference between having to and being allowed to is far more than just a semantic gimmick. It is a profound shift in our perspective that can significantly improve our well-being and quality of life. By focusing on the possibilities and opportunities that life offers us, rather than the obligations and constraints, we can develop a more positive and fulfilling way of life.