On the freshness of restriction

In times when there are almost endless extrinsic influences, it can be difficult to form a picture of exactly what or who you want to be. Nevertheless, there are often some ideas about which values or character traits we would like to consolidate within ourselves. It is with these ideas that we first understand that the self we currently are and the self we could be are light years apart.

"Wistfully, the one I am greets the one I want to be."

Søren Kierkegaard

It is not without reason that Kierkegaard chooses the word "wistful" here, because it is precisely this, in other words, tender sadness with which we perceive our own current fragmentary self. We have a very precise image in our heads of the person we could be if we could leave out all the bad, rotten and corrupt things in our character. Who we could be if we dared to give a little less consideration to current social norms.

Kierkegaard's publications had caused a great deal of friction with the Copenhagen clergy of the time. He was firmly convinced that people shape their own lives and do not follow a trajectory predetermined by God. This naturally met with strong resistance in the Christian society. For this reason, Kierkegaard formulated a number of publications which stated that people can only really live freely if they detach themselves from society, and thus from religion.

Each individual has to decide for themselves who they want to be. However, achieving this is another story. After all, it's not just society that stands in the way, but also yourself. It often takes a lot of effort to change something about yourself, especially for the better. As we know from Newton and his first law, a body remains in its current state until an acting force forces it to change. However, this is only the case for the physical body; our psyche also tends not to change the status quo as long as there is no need to do so.

It is precisely this lack of necessity that ensures that we don't strive for change in the first place. Although we know that we could and should change, we don't see any direct need for action. And for this very reason the one I am greets the one I want to be wistfully.