Buddha on Why You Should Be Your Own Refuge

We tend to seek our happiness and security outside ourselves. However, external factors cannot give us anything that we do not already have within ourselves. Only our inner light can illuminate our own world. But how do we find this refuge within ourselves?

"Do not look for a sanctuary in anyone except your self."

Buddha

Far too often we tend to let our feelings be guided by external influences. Whether it is negative or positive feelings is irrelevant here, it is in both cases the external influences. A work colleague is nice to us and in one fell swoop we are in a good mood, or on the way to work we are honked at by a car and the day is already bad.

If our environment on the whole has more positive impressions on us than negative ones, this may not seem so bad at first glance. It only becomes a problem when we can no longer regulate our own emotions. Because even if we have no influence on the world around us, we have a very great influence on how we react to our environment. This knowledge is not only strong among Buddhists but was also practiced back in Europe by the ancient Stoa. If you are interested in the view of the Stoa on this topic you can read in this article learn more.

1Our environment can do a 180-degree turn at any moment. Everything we take for granted can be taken from us in the blink of an eye. Our parents and friends can die, our health can disappear at any moment, our beloved partner can betray us, and even our own blood can betray us ("You too, my son Brutus..."). As soon as we make our well-being dependent on external factors, we deprive ourselves of the ability to find that well-being within ourselves. We tell ourselves that only if this or that is the case can we be happy - even if we haven't even tried.

By actively learning to build ourselves, through permanent self-affirmation, we can become our own safe haven. The more problems we face and the more often we solve them on our own, the more we can trust ourselves. Why it is still important to be able to trust yourself, you can here read up.

But having confidence in yourself is not the end of the story. It is merely the foundation for this quote. Without trust in ourselves, we categorically shut ourselves off as a safe refuge. However, even once we recognize ourselves as a refuge, we still have to approach ourselves as a refuge.

"It's not enough to know - you have to apply it. It's not enough to want to - you have to do it."

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

So the next time you feel the need to make your satisfaction and happiness dependent on someone else, try to remember that this happiness can be taken away from you at any time. The safest place of refuge is within yourself.