Buddha Explains How to Live Without Fear

If we are too afraid of something, we may fall into a kind of rigidity. In order not to fall into this stagnation, or not to be afflicted by fear in the first place, we must simply not desire anything. But how do you manage not to desire anything?

"There is no fear for someone whose mind is not filled with desires."

Siddhartha "Buddha" Gautama

Let's first look at the reasons for which fear can arise. We fear that a situation will occur that will not go the way we want it to. For example, we can be afraid of being fired, of being cheated on by our partner, of getting on an airplane, of swimming in the ocean, or of walking across a street. Of course, we are never afraid of the thing itself, but of the consequences for us.

If we lose our job, we no longer have security, a roof over our head or worry about not being able to pay for our food. The fear of getting on an airplane also has less to do with the plane than with a possible crash. It is the same with swimming in the ocean, what if there are sharks out there in the big wide ocean, or I get a cramp while swimming and sink like a stone. What if I get hit while walking across the street?

So all these fears are consequences of our desires. We want to keep our job, we want to keep our partner, we want to arrive safely at our destination or we want to feel safe ground under our feet again after swimming.

Of course, it is clearly easier to say nothing than to actually implement it in one's life. However, no one ever claimed that the path to enlightenment would be a walk through the park.

Since it is always our own responsibility that we bear for ourselves (as Buddha makes clear in the corresponding quotation), it is helpful to have the practical part discussed as well:

One exercise that helps me get a better handle on my cravings is to think about what would happen if the opposite were to happen. What if the worst case scenario were to happen, how would I deal with that situation? Often when we think a little more carefully about certain things, we realize that we were originally thinking very narrowly.

But you can also work actively on your desires without thinking them through only theoretically. For example, if you have cooked something for friends to eat and scooped it onto the plates, you let the others choose which plate they want to take. Or you give them the plate that you would have liked to have. You can also hold back when you feel like snacking. Of course, it would be delicious to fall in love with a chocolate bar, but exactly this not getting what you want helps you to get your cravings under control.

You will notice that the more you get your desires and cravings under control, the less anxiety you will have in everyday life. You will no longer be afraid of every little thing that doesn't go exactly as you had imagined. For me, I still have a long way to go before I am free of desires, but isn't it a goal worth striving for?