Master your desires with Daoism

Often, when we notice something in our perception that we like, our first impulse is to reach for it or to attach it to us. Similarly, when we notice something we don't like, our first impulse is to push it away from us. There is nothing good or bad about this action in and of itself, because why shouldn't we make our lives a little nicer?

The problem only arises when we want to keep something away from us but are unable to do so. The reverse is also true, of course, when we want to attract something that we like but are unable to do so. The ancient philosopher Zhuangzi also noticed this problem, so it is nothing new.

For us Westerners, or people of the Global North, as they say these days, it is incredibly difficult to endure not having our wishes fulfilled directly. Thanks to the Internet and the modern service sector, we can fulfill virtually any wish we want, almost at the touch of a button. We can order what we want today and it will be on our doorstep tomorrow.

This makes it all the more important in these times to train our character in a way that manages to tame our desires, whether by pulling them towards us or pushing them away. In other words, to create a state of mind that is not enslaved by desire. This may sound very strange at first, but it is a character trait that can be cultivated without much effort. What is needed, however, is a little discipline and of course the desire to have such a character.

In Daoism, this ability is trained through meditation, because meditation is about being completely in the present moment without even minimally influencing it. One observed silently the progression of existence. Even though we know that meditation is not for everyone, we recommend that everyone gives it a try. Of course, it is not enough to sit down for a few minutes just once, but to try meditation properly we recommend 5 minutes a day for 2 weeks to start with.

Another way to improve this trait is to actively go against our wishes. For example, if we go out to eat with friends, we let them decide where to go; if we want to lie in bed and watch series or videos, we get up and walk around the block; if we want to order a pizza, we go out and buy ingredients for a salad.

By actively acting against our original preferences, we realize that there are alternatives and that these also have their appeal. Often what stops us from trying new things is the belief that our original assumption is best for us. However, it is important to note that we have no idea what is best for us.

So the next time you want to pull something towards you or push it away from you, reconsider or simply decide against it on principle and see how your character will change. Because life, unbound by personal preferences, offers a much deeper experience of life.